It’s working! Going to the gym is working! Last night I wore a tank top to the gym and as I was going through my arms workout I was seeing MUSCLES in the mirror. Muscles! And the jiggly arm is on its way out! Well, hopefully. Although I am sure a little jiggle is going to remain. A little jiggle is alright. Earth quakes as I wave to someone are not. Jiggly Arm Syndrome (Or, JNS.) Stop The Pandemic.
We have been eating pretty good also, if I do say so myself. I have been (for the most part) making nutritional, homemade dinners every night. Besides that one time last week we had pizza. Oh……fuck. And we had McDonald’s on Sunday night. BUT I did find this new machine at the gym…and I can burn 350 calories in FIFTEEN MINUTES. Take that, bubble butt and supersize fries.
And good lord, the ladies at the gym. Some of them look like they haven’t eaten a double cheeseburger – ever. Some of them look like they would kick my ass in about 3 seconds. Some of them wear clothes to the gym that are SCARIER than this ensemble, if you can imagine.
Some of them can run for an hour on the treadmill and not sweat an ounce, stepping off the machine with a full face of make up and their iPod’s blaring “MY HUMPS! MY HUMPS MY HUMPS MY HUMPS!”
Meanwhile I’m usually looking like I just came out of a dunk tank after ten minutes on the elliptical and panting like I’ve just run the NYC marathon. And groaning like I just finished three Big Mac’s.
Just when you think everything has been done because Madonnas is getting old (let’s face it people…and her arms are scary) Lady Gaga steps into the spotlight with orbs, bikinis, and pop cans in her hair. Some people don’t like Lady Gaga. I’m not one of them. I adore her. I love listening to her music. I love the fact when she has an event to attend she wears what we would only ever dare to imagine, if that’s even possible. She’s constantly pushing the limits with fashion and make up and being an artist at the same time, using her body and face and hair like a canvas and simultaneously pumping out catchy tunes and dancing like nobody’s bad business. This chick can dress up like a Christmas Tree to go somewhere, but I find it hard to find the motivation to remember to pluck my eyebrows. She’s held my interest on so many levels because I’m a bit of a celebrity junkie, but also love playing around with hair and make up. I love clothes, but she is BEYOND fashionable, donning “outfits” that nobody has ever seen because she’s got a wiener or something with crazy radar. Bluffin’ with her Muffin, I think the term is called. I love watching dancing and performing and when I see her on the TV for some odd reason I can’t move my eyes from her and her hot legs and bikini bum, and she seems so beautiful and confident and truly unique and different. I love dancing around to her music with Lillienne and dancing like some crazy “Thriller” video cast off who didn’t make the cut.