So, Lily is passed out beside me as I type this. In our bed. Hogging my body pillow that I can’t sleep without, that I sleep with every night since I became pregnant with Lily. I kinda want to pull it out from under her head. I totally would if it was Dustin hogging it. That’s how I roll.
The “sleep, and stay asleep in your own bed” thing isn’t really working out for us.
The thing is, I love sleep. And I can’t sleep when she’s screaming MOMMYS BED at two am. Which results in either Dustin or I lifting her up and putting her inbetween us when she comes half sleep walking into our room.
It doesn’t help that she is warm and cuddly, and that her hair smells so good. I sniff her a lot.
She will nap in her own bed.
But like clock work, everynight around midnight, she’s up and wants to be in our bed.
I fear she will be sleeping inbetween us at age nineteen, and ill still be smushed up against the wall with a foot in my back. By then ill probably have a permanent foot indent mark.
“Oh that? That’s just my disfigured back because I’m a shit parent who can’t figure out why my kid won’t stay in her own bed.”
Ill probably get a humpback and be forced to live in a tower.
Hopefully Lily will still want to cuddle me then….
Following photo taken after she rolled over and before I snatched my rightful body pillow away from her.
That shit is mine.
The directions were wrong. When you first assemble the house, the box stated to “Hold in place for 10 minutes.” Obviously they meant an HOUR, because that’s how long it took after it caved in twice and chunks of the roof fell off and I had to prop it up with books. The pictures resemble nothing of what sits on my dining room table. It’s like a creepy, abandoned farmhouse with half the roof gone, with gumdrops. Its the Blair Witch Gingerbread House.
I attempted to french braid Lily’s hair one night and I ended up doing something completely opposite which doesn’t have a name. But now I deem it The Sister-Wives Updo For Toddlers.
This was Lillienne’s first year “decorating” the tree – AKA putting all the ornaments in one pile at the bottom of the tree.
She likes to go up close to the shiny balls and check out her distorted face.
And point to all the “NO-MAN!” decorations on the tree. (She obviously means snowman. S’s are Silly!)
Same goes for the “NO-FLAKES!” decorations.
Each morning she demands “Christmas tree, on!”, which of course means turn on the Christmas tree lights.
She hasn’t yet figured out she can eat the candy canes – more for me.
Yes, I know it’s still pretty early to decorate a Christmas tree. But Lillienne was super cranky one night last week, and we needed a very big, dramatic, entertaining and a Never Been Done Adventure! so we could all keep our sanity and make it to bedtime. IT WAS MAGICAL, PEOPLE.
The approach we are taking with potty training is pretty slack. We purchased a potty (Which is the dumbest word) a couple of months ago, and she peed 2 drops in it once. Sometimes, we would try to get her to sit on the potty before her baths, but she never really wanted anything to do with it. I did not want to make a huge deal of it since she was still pretty young and we had plenty of time. I also did not feel like traumatizing her and possibly giving her a complex and making my daughter the next serial killer.
Lately, she has been wanting to go on the potty by herself. I will be changing her diapers and she will run half-naked to the can shouting “GO PEE!” And she will gladly sit on her little toilet. Always willing to sit, but nothing ever comes out. She doesnt want to sit there for longer than 2 minutes, no matter how many books I give her or song we try to sing, and the duct tape isn’t strong enough to hold her down anymore. Maybe like, I should, like, read like, a potty like training slash like parenting book, like.
She loves Daddy’s bike magazines.
UPDATE I wrote this post while she was napping. When I went into her room after she woken up, she was holding out her pants to me saying “Pants! pants!” I then realized she had also taken her diaper off, and peed on her pillow. Overall, a very pleasant experience.