Category Archives: Dustin

iWin with the iPhone.

So, Dustin got an iPhone a few weeks ago. The one person in the world wide world who doesn’t even have his own email address or twitter, and refuses to join Facebook.

Which is probably a good thing, lest he see all the 19 year old guy “friends” I have on there.

Anyway, holy shit. A cool piece of technology the iPhone is. You can like, download games and stuff. (WOW!)

He is constantly poking fun at my blackberry. Which isn’t cool since he couldn’t even figure out how to turn my phone on if he tried. Also, news flash, Dustin. Cell phones have had games since like for.e.ver. I’m still the Bejeweled Champion of Western Canada. Eat it.

Anyway. Lillienne is a VERY narcissistic little gnome. I mean, really, Lily. Come on.

We MUST take 13698 videos of her a day. Mostly of her waving at the camera. And then we MUST watch them all. 42862 times. Its a wonderful parenting tool, but I worry.

I hope she isn’t going to be one of those girls who needs to look in every single mirror she walks by, or takes out her compact when her BFF is crying a river so she can inspect her eyeliner.

I beat the shit out of those girls in high school.

Ok, I was one of those girls.

Regardless, its pretty handy to have an iPhone.

Need to take a poo uninterrupted? Let her watch herself on the iPhone. Trying to eat a civilized meal in a restaurant but your kid is throwing forks at the waitress like a professional dart player? Let her watch herself on the iPhone. Need to dry shave your armpits because people are coming over and you just caught a glance in the reflection in the front entrance door and thought there was a small african family hiding out in your armpits and you don’t have time to shower again but your kid is pulling your pants down asking for something indecipherable and you just realized youre standing in front of your windows with said pants now around your ankles and oh fuck here comes the mailman? Let your kid watch herself on the iPhone.

Thank you, iPhone, for all of your co parenting help. High fives all around.

Leave a comment

Filed under Dustin, Lillienne, Probably Poor Parenting, Sarah, Seriously?

Important Pre Marital Conversations.

Have you checked out that new coffee shop on 22nd?

Uh, no. Where is it?

Right close to downtown. I drove by and it was just filled with…you know…those kind of people.

Granola heads?

Kinda. But not too granola. You know….less granola but more…

Oh. You mean Yuppies?

Exactly!

Leave a comment

Filed under Dustin, wedding

The REAL Blair Witch House.

The directions were wrong. When you first assemble the house, the box stated to “Hold in place for 10 minutes.” Obviously they meant an HOUR, because that’s how long it took after it caved in twice and chunks of the roof fell off and I had to prop it up with books. The pictures resemble nothing of what sits on my dining room table. It’s like a creepy, abandoned farmhouse with half the roof gone, with gumdrops. Its the Blair Witch Gingerbread House.

Leave a comment

Filed under Christmas, Crafts, Dustin, Family, Holidays, Lillienne, Photographs, The Second Year, wtf

We always sit in the weeds.

Leave a comment

Filed under Dustin, Family, Lillienne, Love, My Little Big Baby, Photographs, Sarah, The Great Outdoors, The Second Year

The Most Beautiful Creature.

1 Comment

Filed under Autumn, Dustin, Lillienne, Love, My Little Big Baby, Photographs, Sarah, The Second Year