Monthly Archives: May 2011

60 years and running.

This weekend we are going to Dustins hometown to celebrate his grandparents being together for 60 years.

Isn’t that awesome? 60 fricken years together.

I hope Dustin and I are together for 60 years. I hope we can have a 60th anniversary someday. Although I would be close to ninety by then, and probably a bit loopy. But Dustin would only be like 85 or something so he can totally tell me how much fun I am having while I sit in my wheelchair eating all the pastries and stealing wine from everyone.

60 years together is totally something to celebrate and its a pretty awesome milestone. Like bust out the Grey Goose awesome.

Congratulations, Grandma and Grandpa E. If you’re reading this, WHAT’S UP! YOU GUYS ROCK!

Although I’m sure if they ever read this blog they would be begging Dustin not to marry that crazy woman who swears on the internet.

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Raised Vegetable Garden – Spring

I decided not to go crazy on the plants bordering the vegetable garden for fear of wild animals running lose: Lily and the dog. Instead I transplanted a few things from around the yard and chucked in a few rocks. I like the rocks. Babies and dogs can’t destroy rocks.

Things are growing which means great success. Although I lost 11 cherry tomato plants when Dustin and I had a few beer and I forgot to bring them inside after we were finished getting crunk around the fire. Oops.

Cherry Tomato Massacre Survivors of 2011: One.

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iWin with the iPhone.

So, Dustin got an iPhone a few weeks ago. The one person in the world wide world who doesn’t even have his own email address or twitter, and refuses to join Facebook.

Which is probably a good thing, lest he see all the 19 year old guy “friends” I have on there.

Anyway, holy shit. A cool piece of technology the iPhone is. You can like, download games and stuff. (WOW!)

He is constantly poking fun at my blackberry. Which isn’t cool since he couldn’t even figure out how to turn my phone on if he tried. Also, news flash, Dustin. Cell phones have had games since like for.e.ver. I’m still the Bejeweled Champion of Western Canada. Eat it.

Anyway. Lillienne is a VERY narcissistic little gnome. I mean, really, Lily. Come on.

We MUST take 13698 videos of her a day. Mostly of her waving at the camera. And then we MUST watch them all. 42862 times. Its a wonderful parenting tool, but I worry.

I hope she isn’t going to be one of those girls who needs to look in every single mirror she walks by, or takes out her compact when her BFF is crying a river so she can inspect her eyeliner.

I beat the shit out of those girls in high school.

Ok, I was one of those girls.

Regardless, its pretty handy to have an iPhone.

Need to take a poo uninterrupted? Let her watch herself on the iPhone. Trying to eat a civilized meal in a restaurant but your kid is throwing forks at the waitress like a professional dart player? Let her watch herself on the iPhone. Need to dry shave your armpits because people are coming over and you just caught a glance in the reflection in the front entrance door and thought there was a small african family hiding out in your armpits and you don’t have time to shower again but your kid is pulling your pants down asking for something indecipherable and you just realized youre standing in front of your windows with said pants now around your ankles and oh fuck here comes the mailman? Let your kid watch herself on the iPhone.

Thank you, iPhone, for all of your co parenting help. High fives all around.

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Filed under Dustin, Lillienne, Probably Poor Parenting, Sarah, Seriously?

Nobody Likes Cottage Cheese.

I am  at my pre-baby weight.  Which was nothing to get too excited about before, but it is now.  I would like to lose a lot more poundage, seeing as how I am getting married in a few months. And for other reasons, of course. Like actually being able to wear knee-high boots, leggings, and to actually wear shorts without people pointing and saying “Look! Its a walking bowl of cottage cheese! Crazy!”

Did you know that getting back down to your pre baby weight is not the same as your pre baby body?


Things shift. Droops. Slide.

And us C-Section girls? It is like carrying a ball of warm dough on your tummy. Or like a sac of jello that hangs so very attractively. My tummy is still so soft. I guess I really need to build up those muscles again and do some crunchies. Mmmm, remember those Crunchie chocolate bars? I wonder if they still make them.

Dustin and I do have gym memberships although we havent used them in months. Although we have been doing so much work to the yard and house that I keep thinking “We dont even need to go to the gym – look at all the work were doing” Although were paying $$$ a month for nothing. I need to get back to the gym.

I ordered my wedding dress in January, and told the sales girl “Order me a size smaller. I plan on dropping at least 20 lbs”. And the witch snarled and said “EVERYONE says that. Brides rarely do, though.”

What a thing to say. I hope she deals with feral and rabid Bridezillas ALL.YEAR.LONG. And dreams of them, too.

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Important Pre Marital Conversations.

Have you checked out that new coffee shop on 22nd?

Uh, no. Where is it?

Right close to downtown. I drove by and it was just filled with…you know…those kind of people.

Granola heads?

Kinda. But not too granola. You know….less granola but more…

Oh. You mean Yuppies?


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Filed under Dustin, wedding

Did I mention she chews air while she sleeps?

So, Lily is passed out beside me as I type this. In our bed. Hogging my body pillow that I can’t sleep without, that I sleep with every night since I became pregnant with Lily. I kinda want to pull it out from under her head. I totally would if it was Dustin hogging it. That’s how I roll.

The “sleep, and stay asleep in your own bed” thing isn’t really working out for us.
The thing is, I love sleep. And I can’t sleep when she’s screaming MOMMYS BED at two am. Which results in either Dustin or I lifting her up and putting her inbetween us when she comes half sleep walking into our room.
It doesn’t help that she is warm and cuddly, and that her hair smells so good. I sniff her a lot.

She will nap in her own bed.
But like clock work, everynight around midnight, she’s up and wants to be in our bed.

I fear she will be sleeping inbetween us at age nineteen, and ill still be smushed up against the wall with a foot in my back. By then ill probably have a permanent foot indent mark.

“Oh that? That’s just my disfigured back because I’m a shit parent who can’t figure out why my kid won’t stay in her own bed.”

Ill probably get a humpback and be forced to live in a tower.

Hopefully Lily will still want to cuddle me then….

Following photo taken after she rolled over and before I snatched my rightful body pillow away from her.

That shit is mine.

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Filed under Family, Lillienne, My Little Big Baby, Photographs, Seriously?, The Second Year

Raised Vegetable Garden

Finally, some stuff is sprouting in the beds.  Green and yellow onion, shallots, peas, cucumbers, and lettuce. Rock-fucking-on. I’ve noticed already just how much faster raised veggie gardens drain – these things love water. I am thinking I’m going to add lots of mulch as the plants get bigger.

I’ve had my tomato plants outside a few times but they’re still not big or strong enough to be transplanted. I’ve already transplanted them once to 4″ pots from the little jiffy pot things to build up the room system but I can wondering if i have to do it again in 8″ pots? Maybe I’ll just use 4L milk jugs so I don’t have to go to Home Depot or Wal Mart. Again. For the 35646th time this month. Barry in the Gardening Center has already issued me with a restraining order after asking him where stuff is 8943 times a day. My numbers are not made up.

I still have to plant my tomatoes, garlic, asparagus crowns and basil and spinach, and a few other things. Nothing like a late start!

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Filed under Gardening, Raised Vegetable Garden