I wish there was a cell phone that combined the incredible powers of a cellular service, a video camera, a camera, the internet, a butt scratcher and a diaper changer. iBum Clean. That would be all I needed, folks. Seriously though, I think it’s time I upgrade my cell phone. It’s slowly driving me crazy, and I think If I took it in to my service provider they would just throw me a new phone because wtf am I still using this old junky thing for?
Sometimes I wil get texts the next day that were sent the previous night. And they’re usually “LET”S GO PARTY!” and I totally miss the party because of my stupid phone. Actually I usually miss texts like “Two blondes walk into a bar and..” Stupid phone and it’s delayed important messaging skills.
Another thing that irritates me is it’s texting capabilities (or lack thereof), or word memory or whatever it’s called. I’ll be asking a friend to come for coffee and my thumb will slip, and I’ll look up at the screen and it will say “Sure I would beans tomorrow home.” And then I get confused and start thinking about beans for tomorrow, and do we have any at home? And then I forget about coffee.
Also, no matter how many times I write out the word “Of”, my phone cant remember it. So whenever I want to use the word “Of”, I have to Alpha it instead of t-9 it (common Terminator jargon as well as texting references), and it takes me seven weeks to do this, so I constantly replace the word “Of” with “O”.
“How are you?”
Kind o shitty.”
This non-functioning of my phone would be hilarious if all I ever wanted to say was “Top o the Morning to you”, but sadly it is not. And WTF maybe I’ll start using it more.
I’m thinking about a blackberry. I don’t know much about super phones although I most likely will never have time to listen to/put music on it or watch tv, and I’d like to do some quick uploading and the ability to check my email without it taking twenty five minutes.
The only thing that is stopping me is the $100.00 of games I have invested and downloaded in the past 3 years to my current junker, and the hundreds of photos and videos of Lillienne. How do I part with thee?


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