Monthly Archives: November 2009

Happy Birthday, Celeste.

I don’t often write about my family on here besides Dustin and Lillienne. Mainly because I haven’t openly asked them how they would feel if I wrote about them, so I try to keep it to a minimum. This post though, is all about my sister.
Her name is Celeste, which means heavenly. She is five years older than me. I have always though of her as my best friend, and I know I am hers as well. Even though five years is a bit of a gap, we have mostly always gotten along. She made my teenage years pretty awesome. I got to hang out with her and her older friends, most of whom were super good looking and fun and just older than me, which alone I found exciting. I got into all the good parties, knew all the “cool” older kids, and nobody ever said mean things to my face which was nice, because she made it known she would kick some ass. Although I am pretty sure she would never hurt anyone, but it was nice. She let me hang around, let me play with her make up, let me borrow her clothes. She let me hang out and watch movies with her boyfriend(s) and took me out with her all the time. I was her little sister, and because of that, I’m sure I had it a bit easier in high school than some other kids did. Which is sad to say, but it’s true. She had a tons of friends which meant I had a tons of friends, too. Even if these days I consider those people not my friends. Anyway. She is a great sister. When I was pregnant she would come over and keep me company even when I was bitchy. I would fight with my own shadow on those days. I was SO fucking bitchy when I was pregnant, and she just brushed it aside. She would come over and clean my dishes, my bathroom, get me juice and watch A Baby Story with me for six hours straight, even thought I know it made her want to scratch her eyes out.
I remember telling her “No you’re NOT allowed in the room when I give birth.” She was really hurt but hey, I didn’t want anyone to see my vag and all that other nasty stuff. Plus, I was bitchy. Turns out when I was in labour, that’s all I wanted. I wanted Dustin and my sister and my Mommy in the worst way, even though I couldn’t say it. I was too full of pride. And bitchiness. When I had to have a c-section and I was whirled away, I wanted her to come with me. I wanted her and my mom there in the room with me, but the Dr’s said nope, sorry. Only Dustin was allowed.
After Lillienne was born, my family helped out with everything, but watching my sister with my baby was really special. She was so good with Lillienne. When Lillienne would fall asleep in her arms, I would say “here, let me put her in the swing” or “here, let me lay her down.” And my sister would be all “No, I’ll hold her until she wakes up.” Even though I know her arms had fallen asleep and her shoulder was probably spasming. She held Lillienne like she was never ever going to let her go.
When Lillienne sees my sister, her whole face lights up and changes. She smiles so wide and squirms and wiggles because MOM, MY AUNTIE IS HERE, YOU IDIOT! LET ME GO SEE HER and my sister’s whole face changes, too. You can actually see something switch on inside both of them, and it’s the best part when ever she comes to my house, or I go to her house.
My sister is the best sister. She is full of love and she would do anything for me and my little family. She would lend me her last ten dollars and has. She spoils Lillienne rotten even though she knows I think she should sometimes save her cash, but that’s her thing. She loves buying Lillienne stuff and really, I can’t stop her from buying stuff for her own niece. Just remember, Celeste, big toys stay at Auntie’s house.
Today is Celeste’s birthday, and I love her with all my heart. Sometimes it is easier for me to write the things I think instead of saying it out loud, because I pretend to be tough and non-chalant and all that but deep down we all know I would start crying if I had to tell her this to her face. I’m a HUGE softie. There, I said it.
Happy Birthday, Celeste. I love you so much. Thank you for being my sister, and thank you for loving Lillienne so much. You’re a wonderful Auntie.

Celeste and her Peanut.

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Filed under Celeste, Lillienne

I’m thinking a low fat drink with tons of booze isnt going to happen.

Yesterday, Wednesday the 25th I chowed down on:
breakfast: christmas orange
lunch: yogurt
supper: wild mushroom soup and crackers.
Not bad! I was a bit hungry throughout the day but I made sure I kept busy by cleaning and playing with Lillienne and dreaming about cramming chocolate of all shapes and sizes in my mouth. God, I miss eating like shit. And tomorrow we have a party to go to where there will not be low calorie drinks, and I’m not apt to have water at a party. I may have to take a day off to consume a horrid amount of calories. But I am bringing the veggie platter, so I think it all cancels each other out. That’s what I am telling myself anyway.
December is going to be a crazy busy month for me, so hopefully I will be too busy working to notice how much I miss cheeseburgers and dill pickle chips. My photography business I opened up in September is taking off, and I am booked every day of every weekend in December, and already have bookings for January and February. I also have a few weddings booked for 2010 which is really exciting. I hope I can manage to not devour the wedding cakes. I dont think anyone will be too impressed with a photographer who has cake crumbs all over her face or a cupcake shoved into her bag for later.
Tomorrow my bff and I are taking our wee ones to the Mall for the first Santa pictures. Pray for me. I hate people in costumes, I dislike the mall well enough at Christmas time, and there will probably be free candy canes there. I better wear a muzzle.

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Mmmm tv and beer. Although not so good for my thighs.

Grocery shopping last night, I think, was a huge success. Nothing horrible went into my cart. I bought Light feta cheese, fat free activia and some other things that sound boring but actually taste pretty nummy. Also, I think I burst the budget with the fresh stuff. HOLY CRAP it’s the fresh produce that kills you. Especially the stuff that isnt in season. 5 dollars for 5 strawberries, 6 dollars for a watermelon rind. I didn’t go overboard with the stuff that isnt in season, instead I chose more varieties of apples and Christmas oranges.
Yesterday, this is what I stuffed my face with:
morning- yogurt. coffee.
afternoon- yogurt
supper-fettuccine with mushrooms and pork and garlic sauce.
evening- I think I might have slammed a yogurt somewhere between after supper and my bedtime.
Also, the grocery shopping counts as 20 minutes of cardio, including shuffling baby and bags and everything else around. Also, I am always the one to put groceries away which alone is a daunting task.
I read somewhere that if you write down what you eat, it makes you much more aware of the things you’re willing to eat. Also, if you blog about it (and you’re honest), you’re that much less likely to eat a bag of zesty Doritos with a diet Coke as an appetizer before your boyfriend/husband gets home for supper. Not that I have ever done that. I always go with regular Coke.
Tomorrow the stairs exercise program starts again in full swing. I took a week and a half off when Lillienne and I were so sick that rolling over would cause a 15 minute coughing session, which means by tomorrow I should we walking like that pirate dude off of Family Guy again, unable to bend my legs in the slightest way but loving the feeling of knowing something got a workout.

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Week 1 of Get-This-F’in-Baby-Weight-Off-Me Diet

Welcome to the ultra-intense-extreme dieters blog. How amazing is this – I’m going to diet-AND BLOG ABOUT IT! Wow, this is a totally original concept I have just come up with, and I’m sure I just lost the 4 followers I had. Nonetheless, you heard it hear first, folks. Babies,Parenting, and Dieting involving my life. Live, here on this blog. Can it get any more exciting?!?! Your head is spinning, I know!
Do you know what is sad (Besides the lives of The Gosselin kids)? The fact that I can barely fit into my pre-baby tops. Guess what? I used to be a small. A SMALL. I used to have a tiny waist and I even have extra small clothes in my closet I once wore. I am not delusional, this is a true story. You know what else is sad? Buying clothes after you have a baby, and the clothes fitting, and then three months later, they dont fit so well. Everything is going awfully awry with my “lose the bay weight diet” plan. ..
Rice cakes and tuna are my friend, and I’ve really cut out all the nummy things. I miss them.
As of now, the sweetest things in my house are chocolate milk mix and yogurt. I am very bad with salty things as well like crackers or popcorn, and find it hard to not stuff my face with carbs in general. It’s hard to keep fruit in the house because if I buy too much, it all goes bad before I can eat it all (Dustin does not eat fruit and Lillienne can only eat so much). Same goes for vegetables, but I am really trying to make a difference and use them anyway. Dustin won’t starve to death but he will have to choke down a diced green pepper and onion sometimes. Maybe even some peas or carrotts. Dude needs to take a few for the team here.
Any healthy, tasty, low salt recipes welcome. Snack ideas, too. And I will try and get some more exercise. I’ll get back to you on that one. Welcome to Day 1 of Get-This-F’in-Baby-Weight-Off-Me Diet.
My weight- Too F’in Much.
My Goal – Hotness, not HotMess.

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Twilight- Go Away.

Ok, I don’t get it. A vampire movie with werewolves and some broad with a very long face and she falls in love with a vampire but now they’re not in love because she loves a coyote? Twilight. New Moon. IT”S ALL THE RAGE! Everybody is in to this stuff and I don’t understand it. I have always always thought vampires were the silliest concept. I was never interested in vampires, vampire books, vampire movies or any of the sort. I don’t like science fiction and I’ve never watched Buffy the vampire slayer or read the books. I’m probably comparing apples to oranges here (or buffy to bella), and yes I know her movie name because it’s EVERYWHERE. All of my gossip magazines that I am ashamed to be reading in the first place are FULL of Edward and Bella and Rob and Kristen and Fred and Barney. Teenage girls and adult women are going wild for this shit. Girls Gone Wild for Twilight. Robert Pattinson was on Ellen the other day and grown women were in the audience jumping up and down screaming OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD!
Seriously? He is NOT Johnny Depp, people. IHes some British dude who was in Harry Potter! He’s not even good looking! His nose and forehead are one entity and whats up with his hair? Does he know about shampoo, and how it washes away grease and grime?

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365 photo project: week 15

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month three photos

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Filed under 365 Photo Project, Lillienne, Photographs

Nine Months

An Open Letter to Lillienne:
Being pregnant for nine months goes by SLOW. It barely goes by at all. I was pregnant forever with you. Nine months back then was ages.
But having you for nine months…went by in a blink. I burped, and you were suddenly nine months old. 9. NINER! Nerf. Or Neuf.
Around this time nine months ago, you were born. You were a c-section baby and nearly 2 weeks late because you were stubborn and decided that you wanted to stay put. My darling daughter, I loved being pregnant with you. I loved carrying you around everywhere I went, feeling your kick when I was out for supper, eating chocolate in the middle of the night, or watching a movie. I loved feeling you kick inside of me. Nine month ago, you were a tiny little thing that could only be laid down on your back, or cuddled. You were a wonderful baby, right from the start. There were a few nights I almost had a break down, but you were pretty easy on your Mama and Daddy, and we felt so lucky to have such a great baby. Nine months ago we had you, eighteen months ago we fell in love with you.
You have changed so much, it’s hard to believe that tiny baby in the pictures was ever you. It’s hard to believe you ever wore such tiny clothes, that you slept a tiny little cradle, that we thought you would wear use those tiny baby mittens so you don’t scratch your eyes out. You’ve gone from newborn to infant to chubby, giggly baby, and our favourite thing is watching you grow up. You’re the light of our lives, you’re the sun and the moon and the stars, and we’re not sure what life was about before you.
These days, you’re crawling faster than the speed of light. You’re reaching, just about waving, and babbling non stop. When we read to you, you try to talk too, and it’s hard to be heard over your boisterous outbursts. You’re still loving yogurt (actually anything edible), and if we are eating and you’re not, that situation is quickly solved. You’re hungry for everything, all the time, yet you’re so dainty and petite and girly.
You’ve got big smiles, bigger energy, and seven teeth. You’re cruising around furniture and must always be moving and pulling yourself up to something. Being horizontal is for slackers.
Today you are nine months old. At this time, nine months ago, you were with Daddy getting your first bath in the hospital, and I was numb from the boobies down, calling everyone and telling them “She looks exactly like me!”

Even though you looked exactly like your Daddy.

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Filed under Lillienne, Month 9, The First Year