When we came home from the hospital and it hurt to walk, sit down or stand up, Dustin took care of Lillienne. He brought her to me, brought me fruit and water, and did generally whatever I asked of him. He drew the line at wiping my butt (I know! He’s soooo lazy). He tidied the house for me, held me as I bawled into my pillows sniffling “Sometimes I don’t want to be a Mom anymore” when Lillienne screamed for hours on end, and held me the next night as I smiled and said “I love being a Mom so much.” Yes, I was very emotional those first few days. I still am, but we’re seriously considering keeping Lillienne now. She’s starting to pull her weight, eating all the lint balls,cracker crumbs and such off of the carpet.
Dustin is an exceptional father, and I am so lucky to have him. I’m lucky that he lets me sleep in on the weekends, even though he’s the one who gets up everyday during the week at 7.30. The past week has been hard on me, and hard on us as a family. Dustin has been there for me in every way possible. Hugs, kind words, cold beer. He jumped on dirty diaper duty all week with GUSTO, sparing me the nasty shit my baby now expels as she’s trying new foods. He hasnt said a word when he has come home this week to no supper more than a few nights in a row, and barely even groaned when I suggested Kraft Dinner. He hasn’t gotten on my case about the over flowing bathroom garbage or the fact that the laundry was piled up so high you could have done the moguls in our bedroom.
Sometimes, Dustin pisses me off and I want to throw things at him (I haven’t yet, I’ve glued everything down so there’s nothing to tempt me). Sometimes we fight and we don’t talk. Sometimes it’s as if we’re on different planets and this shit is hard, yo, and it seems like somethings gotta give, I can’t do this anymore, how do we solve this?!
And then I remember how wonderful he is. I remember he’s always there for me. I remember he hasn’t packed up his bike magazines and said “See ya, you crazy beep beep babeeping beep.” I remember how crazy in love we are, and how crazy in love we both are with each other, and our daughter. He is a good man, a good father, and I love him. I am lucky to have him.