Chocolatey Oinks.

What a douchebag of a weekend!! We didnt do much and as a result I believe my ass has permanently made a mark in our leather couch. Truth be told I felt like complete shit the whole weekend, a mixture of sluggishness and nausea and a migraine from Satan Himself. Every cry from Lillienne brought tears to my eyes, and not even chocolate ice cream could bring a smile to my face.
Alas, its a new week, and hopefully all those bad feelings are gone. I also bought a jar of nutella and holy fuck, it is like eating a dream. Tastes just like fererro rochers MMMMM orgasm orgasm orgasm. I bought the nutella so when I wake up in the middle of the night craving chocolate, sweets, or SUGAR CUBES FOR CHRISTS SAKE, I can have a little dab of something sweet without devouring Dustins granola bars that are for his lunch. I actually made him take all the little chocolate goodies and such for his lunch to work. I have no will power. Put a chocolate bar infront of me and I can unwrap it with my mindpower and swallow it whole. Although I find it extremely creepy that the nutella is for spreading on bread. BREAD? What the hell is this world coming too? Chocolate and bread? Perhaps chocolate and fruit, even chocolate and nuts, but there is no way in hell I am ruining perfectly gorgeous bread with chocolate. Or ruining chocolate by smearing it on a piece of bread. No thank you, take your wild ways with bread and chocolate and get the hell out of here.
On a completely different, completely related note, I feel like a fatty fatty 2×4 who cant fit through the bathroom door. When I first had Lillienne I actually think the baby weight melted off rather quickly. And then WHAMMO. It’s back. How is this possible? It cant be! Oh, wait. Granola bar feast at three am. Shoveling anything with sugar into my mouth in very high quantities. I have never been this heavy in my LIFE and I hate it. Alot. I hate feeling my thighs rub together. I hate that when I wear tank tops I have those armpit boob things that stick out by the straps. I hate that I bought new clothes a couple months ago and NOW THEY BARELY FUCKING FIT. I hate that somedays I am so lazy I can barely get outside for a walk, and when I do, hey, lets walk to the ice cream thingy at the park! BRILLIANT. I hate that I’m embarassed and ashamed and constantly putting myself down. I hate that I think I’m a disgusting pig and sometimes dont even want to get it on because gross, who’d want to touch me? Dont lose your hand in that roll of fat. Careful, I think my belly button just ate your watch. Nutella, anyone?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Chocolatey Oinks.

  1. Amanda

    Awww…know whats funny, all this putting yourself down, and I kept looking at your new pic on the side with Lillienne and you look great! Hot mama in fact! Let's meet for a walk this week…thurs? As long as the weather is good…which with my luck it won't be, but whatever. And we WON'T go for ice cream! Just a nice walk! Trust me I can relate, I always want a slush when I go for walks with Ezekiel. Half of the time my will power wins…the other 90% of the time I get the slush…I was never good at math, lol.

  2. Casey

    As hilarious as this is, I relate. I have never been as heavy as I am right now either. When I had Hayden I lost the baby fat quickly, and kept it off. Before I got pregnant with Alex though, I started an office job, which killed my "keeping the weight off" plan. I'm having an extremely hard time with getting healthy. I have to watch shows like 650 lb Virgin just to make myself feel better….which doesn't even work because I think, "Oh my god that's me in like one year!" Being in an apartment is hard, especially when you're lazy. One thing that did help me though, was not to buy any junk food while grocery shopping. No that hasn't stopped me from eating junk food, but it has cut it down. I go for walks regularly, but to the store, to buy junk food…..and milk too! I think I just need a different mindset. Drag us on your walks Amanda!

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